Summer Flashback

by Ashley

So, back to logging what happened from the end of school last May, to our most recent post, starting off the new school year...

Last May, our kids left for Texas right after Emily's graduation and Ave's 8th Grade promotion ceremony. All in all, they were in Texas from May 21st to July 12th. So what in the world did Philip and I do, during the longest kidless window we've had since our first year of marriage?

For starters, we finished up the school year. We wrapped up final grades, cleaned classrooms, I hosted my usual classroom Potter Party (complete with the magical floating candles and polyjuice potion this year), and then we sent students off for the summer. The rest of the teaching staff had all flown out by that Saturday, which meant that Philip and I were totally alone in "Victor's Village," as I've come to know it. We spent the entire first week of vacation deep cleaning the house; scrubbing it down and decluttering. We slept in. We read books. I journaled. Philip studied the stock market and read research. We sat outside in our lawn chairs, enjoying the slow crawl of the river in the small early summer window, where temps are warm, sun's abundant and bugs are scarce.

Of course, I didn't have off for long. Summer school this past summer started one week after the last day of school, the earliest it's been since we've been here. 100% of my students had signed up to attend, and so I had already used the last weeks of school to plan our 3-week summer academy. We had so much fun. We did Twisted Fairy Tale shadow puppet theater for our reading, where the students made their own shadow puppets and put on the plays. For math, we did nothing but fact fluency games to continue our mental math and multiplication facts. For science, we spent a lot of time outside, focusing on collecting samples of nature, for which, we have to wait an entire school year to get. Our favorite outing was to the gravel pit, where we found hundreds of rock samples that have been pulled from the Yukon River: multi-colored jaspers, granite, obsidian, quartzite, various agates, sodalite, etc. We had fun identifying our samples, painting some of them, while making resin coasters out of others.

We also gave students more agency over their lunch. We created a menu ticket order system, where they got to build their lunch, using the school food options, as well as some locally harvested berries for dessert options. That resulted in more food getting eaten, rather than wasted. And we pulled some students in to help build our outdoor chicken run, so that our chickens could finally enjoy some fresh air and sun.

Summer school was only three weeks, four days a week, for three hours a day. It flew by. And once it was done, Philip and I had a long stretch ahead of us of slow, nightless days.

It...was...amazing.

We went back to sleeping in (really, we were up by 8:00 a.m.), enjoying long conversation over coffee. We sat outside to soak up our daily dose of vitamin D, reading, observing the summer birds (robins, pine grosbeaks, chickadees, white-crowned sparrows, yellow warblers, eagles and tree sparrows, of whom we were thrilled to discover had moved into the birdhouses that were put up last fall), watching the river, talking, or napping. I had my nose in a book no less than two hours a day, and I had time to journal. I continued to catalog our school library, and revamp my classroom, when I felt like it. Philip played golf with the golf simulator we have, kept the school grounds tamed, and kept the flow of our chicken's eggs going to continually feed the village. We enjoyed a clean house, where everything remained exactly where we last put it. We went on hikes along the beach, in awe of the changes left behind by last spring's river breakup. I expanded our rock collection, and put some fine specimens in our rock tumbler. I found and tried new healthy snack recipes, and was a more than willing participant in tasting Philip's culinary abilities. We worked in the chicken coop, and planted a garden, and took care of anything pertaining to school and teacher housing maintenance.

It was a solid month and a half of date nights. Which, was amazing for many reasons, but most notably, one in particular: tt was a good gut check for our marriage. We both know that relationships are hard, and should never be taken for granted, even when metal-locked in matrimonial bonds. We also know that marriages go through phases, especially when you've had the experiences that Philip and I have had: the rough early marriage years, having four kids over six years, the death of parents, cancer x 2, changing jobs or careers, and so on. Through all of that, plus the normal day-to-day distractions, the health of a marriage can fall by the wayside, presenting the illusion of stability while actually suffering from neglect. We've both heard and seen the effects of that, with long-term marriages of friends and acquaintances ending, even after they'd surpassed the typical off-ramp checkpoints. This summer for us, was going to be the most isolated the two of us had ever been, with no kids, no coworkers, no relatives around, and with no work to be done other than what we decided to do.

The first indication of our status was the fact that we were really looking forward to our empty-nest-rehearsal summer. Daydreamed about it actually, ever since the kids told us their summer plans. The second indication was that not once, during our entire summer, did we feel restless, bored, or a need to have alone time. I live for the conversations Philip and I have, discussing concepts we've read in our separate books, dissecting and synthesizing philosophical thoughts we have, learning more about whatever the other one is interested in. Here we are, 21 years later, and we still really, really, really like each other. I know it's not a common thing, to be able to work with your spouse, intensely, as well as live in almost complete isolation with them, and not feel stir-crazy. Now, I acknowledge that I've never been one who needs a "night out with the girls," (actually, that's one of my worst nightmares...) but having grown up as an intensely introverted child, who primarily lived in my own head, the usual pull would be to have more time to myself. Yet, I've come to realize the danger of staying in your own head for too long. It's hard to keep a solid tether to the reality outside of your perspective when your echo chamber becomes too loud. And Philip is in many ways such a different creature than I am, which allows those reality checks for me, all the time.

So, all that to say...our summer stretched out nice, long and slow. With 22 hours of daylight, that's not a complete metaphor, either. I felt it was the most restful one we've ever had, and exactly what we needed at the end of another hard school year. Of course, in the midst of all this relaxation, I also experienced a more acute desire for Philip and I to go do something crazy, something new. For years, we've usually ended up talking ourselves out of many things, mostly because of finances or life circumstances that have kept us squarely in the land of responsibility. Now, between Philip and I, I am definitely more impetuous, with spontaneous ideas, and can be a bit more of a throw-caution-to-the-wind type, on a larger scale. I provide the chaos to Philip's order. And this past summer, that tendency resulted in us booking our very first cruise. We've wondered for a long time about what a cruise was like, and wondering if it was something we (or my stomach) would enjoy. We always ended up backing out of any plan we discussed. But in June, we took the plunge and booked a last-minute reservation for an Alaskan cruise. Yes, we know: we live in Alaska. But this is a huge state, vastly different from one region to another, and we really wanted to see more of coastal Alaska. So we booked a seven-day route that would take us from Seattle to Ketchikan, on to the Endicott Arm and Dawes Glacier, to Juneau, to Skagway, an obligatory maritime stop in Victoria, Canada, and then back to Seattle.

We booked with Princess cruises, with our particular ship being the Princess Star. Philip had read a lot of positive things about their line, including how their workers are treated. We then watched all the Youtube videos we could find about cruising, from boarding details, to anecdotal wisdom once on the ship. We ordered whatever essentials we thought we needed, made packing lists and documentation checklists, and then began watching the countdown on the Princess app. Because we have our dog Forrest, and we aren't comfortable letting anyone outside of our family watch him, we had to wait for the kids to return before we could go. The kids returned July 12th, where we had our own little birthday celebration for Ave, and some family time, and then Philip and I flew out July 14th. I was quite nervous yet excited for our adventure.

We spent a couple of days in Seattle, since we'd only ever spent time there in the airport, and used that time to sail in Puget Sound on a sailboat, see the Space Needle, and check out the Chihuly Glass Garden & Museum. We also spent a fair amount of time at Pike Place Market, which was so much larger than I realized. I mean, ten levels, spread out over nine acres, with any and all shops you can imagine...it was rather overwhelming. Our favorite was a vendor who sold locally brewed cider. And we experienced the first suffocating heat we've felt in almost four years, since we left Texas. Let's just say my body still hates the heat. All in all, we enjoyed our city time, but it didn't take long to reach a saturation point. It is quite the adjustment to go from quiet village life to the bustle of a major metropolitan area.

Boarding day for the cruise was when the excitement really gave way to nerves. I was expecting something to go wrong with our paperwork, or our booking, or with security. And yet, it was one of the most organized and seamless processes Philip and I have experienced with any booking. I'll hand it to Princess...they know what they're doing. And as the nerves calmed down, the surreality of what we were about to embark upon began to hit. When we set foot on the ship, my brain could not process the magnitude of the steel can we were on. Everything seemed so luxurious, and so not us. And there were so many people...over 4,000. The equivalent of 26 Kaltags.

I could give a play-by-play of the cruise, but, to save time, I would rather give the highlights and lowlights of our time at sea.

The Highs:

• Meeting so many different people from all over the world, by getting to know the service staff on the ship. We had our favorites, that became our regular places to go, and we really enjoyed hearing about their lives and their families, and what it was like to work on a cruise.

• Not having to cook or clean. Although, it never stopped feeling weird being served on all the time.

• Excursions: We splurged on two off board excursions- a train ride in Skagway, which took us along an old Gold Rush trail, and a helicopter ride onto the Mendenhall Glacier in Juneau. That one was definitely worth it, and an experience I hope to have again. Riding in a helicopter is a whole different experience (much better!) than our usual puddle jumper, and walking on the glacier was seriously cool. I felt like I was in Interstellar. Philip also enjoyed drinking straight glacial water, even before receiving permission to do so...

• Skagway: Our favorite port stop. A very small, quaint town, and absolutely beautiful scenery. It wasn't as nearly commercialized as some of the other stops.

• Irish Music: An Irish band of two played guitar and fiddle, singing Irish pub songs every night at the pub onboard, which was enjoyable to listen to and fun to sing along. They also would host Irish Spoons sessions, where we'd play along as rambunctiously as we wanted. Philip had bruises to prove it.

• Spellbound: A magic show and cocktail experience in one. Yes, it was a bit pricey, but the room full of magical artifacts across the century was really neat, and the drinks were creative and actually good. The magic show was also surprisingly enjoyable. Of course, the highlight was the fact that they had a Zoltar machine (Big, anyone?), where Philip and I both got our fortune cards.

• Balcony ocean view: Definitely worth it.

The Lows:

• Entitled passengers: As previously stated, we were served hand and foot in most places on the ship, and comfort was the leading goal for service staff. To the point that we weren't even allowed to throw our own trash away. But people would take that to the extreme, leaving dirty dishes on the floor by elevators, or in the middle of the stairs. The impatience shown while waiting for food and drink orders, and over the top reactions at minor inconveniences were rather unpleasant to witness.

• Events tailored to sensationalism: Philip and I already knew we'd suffer from sensory overload from most events onboard, but it was still a lot to take in: loud hosts, loud crowds, pandering to superficial commercialism...(yes, to be expected on "luxury" cruises)

• Buffet or Common Eating Spots: Oh, the lack of sanitation by most passengers in such close proximity to food....we avoided these areas the entire trip.

The final assessment: We enjoyed the cruise and would love to try another one. I think I would prefer a smaller ship, with a little less chaos, and would rather stick to destinations that lend themselves to older, less party-type crowds (makes me sound old!), but the ease of planning when exploring places via river/ocean travel, makes traveling less intimidating. We really want to take the family on our next cruise endeavor, which I think our crew will really enjoy.

To wrap...

Our cruise was a nice injection of energy into our relaxing summer, and when we returned to Kaltag, we still had almost a month of summer left, which was hard to believe. We spent that time with the kids, finally getting to our family version of Potter Party, and helping Emily and Jadyn figure out their next steps. All in all, it was the longest, and most dynamic summer we've had in a long time, with three distinct phases, all of which provided some very needed respite from the long work year. I'm glad we soaked up every minute of it, and I'm glad that after 21 years of marriage, Philip and I are in a good place. A really good place. I know that we haven't lost who we are in the midst of all the other roles and responsibilities we've had along the way, and that we're also still learning and evolving as individuals and as a couple. The kids have mentioned wanting to return to Texas again next summer, which means...

...another summer of endless date nights. :)